Considering a Marriage Proposal?

Be careful.

Be skeptical.

In many cases, young Albanian girls who fall in love with an older boy are proposed to and are then sold to foreign brothels. The boy was not a dream husband but instead a pimp seeking to use the girl to make a profit for himself. Often, these girls made similar mistakes which increased their chance of becoming victims. Read on, so that you won’t make the same.

1. Ask for a longer engagement period. If he resists, take this as a warning.

2. Healthy relationships take time to grow. If the boy has not known you for a long time, how can he really know you? If he doesn’t really know you, then how can he really love you? “Love at first site” is a fallacy. Physical attraction can happen at first site, but love implies knowing that person well.

3. Gifts of flowers or chocolate do not necessarily mean love. The boy could be a pimp trying to win you over with deceit.

4. Just because a boy says, “I love you,” that does not mean that he really does. He could be lying.

5. If a boy comments on how beautiful you are, ask yourself if he loves your appearance or you. You are more than your physical appearance.

6. If the boy wants to keep your relationship secret, consider this a warning that he is a trafficker.

7. If the boy wants you to lie about your relationship, consider this as a warning that he is a trafficker.

8. If the boy is disrespectful of you in any way, that is a sign he does not really love you.

9. If the boy puts pressure on you in any way (to leave your family, to have sex, etc.), that is not a sign of a healthy relationship.

10. Violence is a sign of disrespect. If a relationship becomes violent, leave it, even if he feels sorry afterwards. 

11. If your boyfriend criticizes you publicly or privately, this is not a sign of respect.

12. If a boy uses sex, money, physical force, or any other method to maintain power or control, this is not a foundation for a healthy marriage.

13. If your boyfriend insists on using false documents for any reason, that is a sign of dishonesty and deceit. How can you trust anyone who wants to lie? 

14. If your boyfriend tells you that you could make a lot of money very quickly and easily overseas, do not believe him. Financial success for most people comes through education and hard work over a long period of time.

15. If your boyfriend tells you that you could never be successful here in Albania, do not believe him. There are many successful Albanian women in the fields of the arts, sciences, law, politics, media, education, diplomacy, humanitarian aid, business, and many others.